by Gary Bergeron – co-founder of Survivors Voice Inc.
Gary was 10 years ago, together with Bernie McDaid, one of the first to bring out the abuse scandal in Boston, causing Cardinal Bernard Law to go in hiding in the Vatican. Where he still resides, by the way…wanted by the FBI and protected by the pope.
At the occasion of the 2nd Annual Survivors of Clergy Sexual Abuse Day, Gary looks back at the last 10 years and what has changed and what has not.
Why a celebration at the Vatican and not a protest?
On Saturday, October 29th the 2nd Annual Survivors of Clergy Abuse Day will be held at the front steps of the Vatican in Rome.
Last year’s gathering was called “Reformation Day”. This year it is being called “Celebration Day”.
Last year’s gathering involved survivors from 12 different countries, a candle light vigil, and a protest.
This year’s gathering will begin to mark the 10 years since the clergy abuse scandal began in Boston.
This year’s gathering will also involve survivors from many more countries, but there will be no vigil nor will there be any type of protest.
Why the change?
Simply put, it is time to change the direction of the conversations making the rounds surrounding the childhood clergy abuse scandal. As a survivor, the conversations today are a vague reminder, almost a déjà vu, of what it was like in Boston almost a decade ago.
At that time, it seemed like the only thing everyone wanted to know, was “Who knew what, when?”… and the only forward moving train of thought seemed to be “Archbishop Cardinal Bernard Law should step down!”.
I understood where that anger came from then, just as I understand where the anger comes from now. Anger serves a purpose; it’s an internal rallying cry that can bring people together in a worthwhile cause. Nothing is more worthwhile than the protection of children from the life long struggles that sexual abuse at an early age can bring. If nothing else, that is the one thing I get. I’ve known anger. At many points in my life we were on a first name basis.
At times, I continue to know it today.
While anger may get you there, what anger doesn’t do is get you any further. In a lot of ways, anger is like Chinese food. It tastes great when you’re eating it. You’re full when you’re finished eating. The only problem is that an hour later, you’re usually hungrier than you were before you ate.
When the rallying cry in Boston 10 years ago was for, then Archbishop, Cardinal Law to step down, yes I was angry. However I no more wanted him to step down then, than I want Pope Benedict to step down now. Cardinal Law stepping down only momentarily defused the tension. Once that was done, the general publics sentiment was “Ok that’s done, nice job, its over”. Or so they thought. Yet here we are, almost a decade later, angry again, and in some cases calling for the resignation of another leader.
As a child, we’re taught that quitting doesn’t solve anything, you don’t get to quit just because it’s hard. Yet as adults more often than not, we advocate leaders in tough situations to quit, we push them out. What that solves, I’m not really sure…
10 years ago I advocated for Cardinal Law “To stay and clean up this mess. Once it’s cleaned up, he can go where he pleases”. Had he not resigned, Cardinal Law would probably still be cleaning up today. Today though, he would have had walked year after year in the shoes of survivors, their families and the damage caused in their lives by childhood sexual abuse by his clergy. Maybe in doing what Catholics use to call penance, after a few years he would have had a better understanding of his failure and it’s results and have a better idea on it’s prevention.
Progress? – The benchmark!
The simple facts are that in recent years, the survivor community has been able to get more accomplished with the current pope, or should I say despite the current pope, than with any other church leader in the last 50 years. He has met with survivors and has agreed to meet with more. He has made more positive statements for survivors than any other Pope before him. He has used the words crime and criminal. In doing so, he has set a benchmark. It is up to the world not just survivors, to hold him accountable and remind him of that benchmark. Is it enough?
No, not even close. Perfect? No, not even remotely close, but in my life I’ve learned that it’s about “Progress, not perfection”. Simply put, we have made progress. Not because of the current pope, we’ve made progress IN SPITE of the current pope. The call for his resignation will only temporarily deflate the situation, not solve it. Calls for him to resign leads to the questions of who will replace him.
We need to change the direction of the rhetorical conversations that are being played out over and over again. We need to stop asking the question “Who knew what when” It’s become rhetorical. “Who knew what and when did they know it?” was the question that my generation asked. It was answered as survivors like my self started telling our stories and involving the court system.
“What are we now going to do about it?” is the question that I need answered so that I know my son, my grandson won’t have a story like mine to tell.
“Who knew what and when did they know it?” Here’s the simple answer. Too many people of power in the Catholic Church knew too much to deny it today and yet did nothing for far too long.
Asking the right question
The conversation now needs to be “What are we going to do about it?”.
It needs to be asked over, and over and over again…
When that question starts to be asked, the answers will set a benchmark. The defenses used in answering “Who knew what when?” can’t be used once the question of “What are we now going to do about it?” starts getting asked and answered.
I have read that Pope Benedict, as a Cardinal, had a nick name, “the pitbull”.
We need to start asking the pitbull the right question: “We know you know and have always known about it. Now, what are you going to DO about it?”
In answering that question, through his own words, a benchmark will be set.
Given the opportunity, I would ask him myself.
On Saturday October 29th, Survivors from around the world will once again join each other while facing their demons head on and celebrate life. We will once again stand as a reminder to the world that we are not numbers, we are people and we are from every country around the world where the catholic church has done their “missionary work”…
We will once again stand and show that real power and real healing comes from within oneself and from the connection with other survivors. It does not come from the third floor balcony of a mansion behind the brass doors of a well guarded fortress in an seemingly immutable country called the Vatican.
I can’t speak for everyone else. As for me, I’m not going back for the Chinese food.
Gary Bergeron
Survivors Voice Inc.
