This is probably how it is going to be…me writing about a day, a day late.
Actually I shouldn’t. It would be so much better to finish the day thinking about every thing that has happened and to close the day consciously of everybody and everything. Unfortunately that will rarely be the case, as I normally go to bed too late, have so many things to finish off or to work on, that I roll into my bed exhausted for those couple of precious hours of unconsciousness.
Our Skype conversation with Salvatore finished way past midnight. More than 2 hours it lasted and both Paola and I felt so great after it!
Salvatore left for Tenerife about 3 months ago to get his life back on it’s feet…
“Just another survivor”, and now precious friend, we met last year October in Rome at the Survivor’s event, and we are grateful that he allows us to accompany him on his road back to his “self”. He is not there entirely yet, but he will get there…
But on his dark days we talk; sometimes for hours if necessary.
Sometimes we can help; sometimes we feel helpless.
Salvo was abused by a priest and the amazing thing about his life is that he decided to become a priest himself! Something I still find hard to grasp… But he decided to become a priest and to do the things better, as they are supposed to be done, by a priest.
During his studies he found out that the catholic church did not expect him to be a good christian or “lower himself” to the level of the believers. And he became frustrated, felt cheated by the church, again…
It took him almost 15years of his life to learn to separate his believe from the catholic church system, to become ‘unbaptised’ and pick up a life of his own. 15 Long harsh years of many doubts, frustrations, repeated abuse (in a sense), but he is getting there.
Salvatore Domolo is a beautiful human being, a talented ‘flower-artist’ (I have no better way to describe what he can do with flowers- he published a book about it), has 2 university degrees – theology and communication science – and has kept a lovely sense of humour and almost child-like openness in his heart. He immediately connects with people from heart to heart. And yes: we both love him…
But Salvo is having dark days; days that he just doesn’t know: about himself, the sense of his life, where to go and what to do. That he can not sit still for more than a minute and this unrest exhausts him. He isolates himself on days like this and the isolation scares him.
That was the mood of his day and our conversation…
After two hours and going from analysing what caused his depression, the news, through philosophy and in the end a lot of fun and laughter we finally said goodnight and we went to bed feeling great and grateful. ONE day of ONE person saved! If I can do one every day my life’s purpose will be fulfilled…
It was an important day for us personally as well…
Today we established our own company and this was a milestone in the personal project we have been working on since 2008.
I have been leading companies from since I was 30, but this feels different.
This project is so important for us, in many ways…
When I had my heart operation in 2008 it became apparent that I would have to change work. The stress, the politics, the deadlines, the conflicts, all that was part of my work as IT consultant, I could no longer bear them. My body gave me a warning and ignoring that would have meant a family drama , sooner or later.
Then I met, through my good friend Ruud, two brothers, farmers, who have decided to give up their family farm to re-create the natural landscape around Someren, in the south of the Netherlands.
I explained them the plans I had been developing in my head since 2000 and our plans ‘klicked’. They offered me a 12ha (25acres) of their land to create a troutfishery for flyfishing on trout (a sport that becomes more and more popular in Holland and I have started 20years ago when living on the bank of a river in the Grand Duchy of Luxemburg).
This October we will start planting the land (about 16000 shrubs and trees) and hopefully we can start before the winter to dig the 6ha (12acres) of fishing lakes and the 300m river. As the work starts and we will be making some investments, preparing for the opening of the place in September next year, we had to get our company established. And that is what we have done today.
Reason for champagne!
From David Greenwood I received a link to UK group: Survivors West Yorkshire, focussing on the support of male rape/sexual abuse victims.
Watched their video on YouTube and realised that there is another taboo to be broken…
I felt deeply touched by the testimonies on the video. It is another story, but the words and the emotions are the same. I found the opening words of Dr. Peter McParlin amazing!
(here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/user/Survivorswy)
The title of the conference, “Invisible Men and Boys”, and the concept behind that title is so spot on!
I heard a new way to explain to myself what happened to me since the abuse and when I found out about 37years later.
Not realising that most of my life and everything I felt, done, thought, created, actually: that every fiber in my body, every driver that had kept me going for so many years, had been corrupted by the abuse and I had not been aware of it.
And I couldn’t see it myself, I couldn’t see my “self”, I always thought I was blind, but I was INVISIBLE TO MYSELF….
Touched, emotions, things to contemplate, digest…Thanks, David.
It was a good day today, with ‘good’ in it for me, my family and friends!
The days are always too short. There is so much work to do, time goes so fast and some things are so slow (e.g. changing the world’s views on the catholic church and child abuse in general) and I always feel so inadequate… But then, when I lay down to rest, I realise that I have achieved a lot in a day, that I have been enriched by being ‘touched’…
I should not be so harsh on myself.
I do what I can in one day.
As long as I make sure that all things I do in a day, count..then I’m doing allright!
Have a great day.
