Coping with loneliness

Although you know that the abuse happened and was real, sometimes unfortunately not everyone believes you or has it in them to understand. This might even happen in our own families and consequently may make you feel very lonely and ‘on your own’ with all of this painful stuff.

There is support everywhere for this particular trauma and you can contact Survivors Voice Europe who will point you as far as possible in the direction of support, groups etc. in your area.

But you may need more at the moment and so you might enjoy trying this particular exercise.

This is a connecting meditative process that might even be useful for when you are feeling panicked, having flashbacks or memories or coming out of a dissociated period. It is a way of connecting with all the other thousands of survivors in a way very special to this particular group.

* Firstly you will need to find some object that will become the focus of your meditation. Ideas might include a candle, a photograph of a favourite place or of you as a child that you are trying to help, a vase of flowers, a toy, a statuette or ornament that inspires you – it can be anything but it needs to keep your attention.

* Find a place to sit, comfortable enough that you can sit for about half and hour but not so comfortable that you fall asleep. You might be able to sit on the floor or at a table.

* Focusing on your object, start to breath in through the nose slowly and gently and out through the mouth, evenly spacing the breaths and making sure that your stomach rises with each breath in.

* Feel your body calm, feel the muscles start to relax, and as you relax try and imagine that you are being joined by other survivors who are feeling as lonely as you, they too are sitting with you and they too are focusing on something that brings them to this place of shared meditation.

* Try and feel the safety of being with people who understand and who believe you. The people around you are calm and believing, you can trust them to keep you safe while you sit together.

* Keep breathing but with each breath in take in their warmth and love and serenity and with each breath out pass on your warmth to this little band of friends – they need your support as well in this moment.

* As you come out of your meditation, gently say goodbye until next time to your meditation partners and come back into the room knowing that other people are doing this around the world. You will see them again, you are not alone with this and there are people in the world who are on your side and although they are not physically in the room with you, they are sending you their loving kindness.

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