The “Empty Chair”
With all of the talk about our government’s “overarching” enquiry, and the church’s “committee” to look into child abuse I am often asked if I am involved?
But if I was being considered to be part of any “enquiry” regarding childhood abuse , I would really have to ask myself WHY?
Because I know that on past performance, these people will never appoint anyone who is authentic, or who cannot be manipulated or who will challenge their agenda, and they DO always have an agenda!
It seems that when there is a ‘problem’ and an organisation is forced into action, some bright spark somewhere says ‘Lets form a committee to talk about it’ and then the vying and jostling for positions on said committees begin.
With these so called multi-disciplinary safeguarding think-tanks there is always an “agenda ” and sadly and disgustingly very often the survivors get lost in the haze of pontificating, in-fighting, egotists who either know what they are doing or have been sucked into it because their damage is so great that they are unaware of how their strings are being pulled.
There are many problems with these so-called bodies and committees but the biggest one for me is that there is always someone else’s “agenda” – it may start out with good intentions but very rarely is the true reason for their creation the survivors in need of real authentic change in the way that they are provided for by society in terms of legal, health, psychological, demographic, social support etc.
The survivors get lost again and the “agenda” remains the need to be ‘seen to be doing the right thing for Joe Public’. Nothing ever really gets done but everyone comes away full of tea and biscuits and patting themselves on the back.
On a more sinister note, the government, and especially the churches – whoever comes up with the idea – retains their “Bella Figura” and can churn out,when challenged, the fact that they have been ‘in talks / dialogue / liaising/ in diplomatic discussions’ to ‘try to resolve the issues/foster greater understanding’etc. -Bullshit!
The puppeteers of these bodies never ask those individuals who will challenge their ultimate agenda; invitations will be tailored to suit the agenda.
ANYBODY ‘invited’ to one of these bodies needs to ask themselves the following questions:-
- What is the agenda?
- What is the mission?
- Who will benefit?
- Can I truly work alongside the other invitees?
- Do I genuinely believe that this body is a force for progress?
- Do I genuinely believe that I can make a difference?
- WHERE IS MY EGO IN THIS?
We are all for discussions, we are all for coming together and trying to ensure that the infrastructure surrounding the massive arena of childhood abuse is to the highest standards, the highest quality and that change is made swiftly and effectively. We were knocked on occasion for going to the UN to speak about our experiences but the upshot of it is that we have seen a systematic increase in reporting about this issue and we at least had a hand in lifting the rock that our particular perpetrators have enjoyed living under for centuries. That was our mission, and we did it despite having to be on show and vulnerable because we believe passionately in what we do.
All bodies need to be made up of people who are prepared to challenge for the RIGHT REASONS – not just to be seen to be knowledgeable, clever, important, etc. There needs to be fire in their bellies to want to change the lives of survivors everywhere.
Peers, MPs, public personalities should ensure that they are not just being used as a masthead for the good ship ‘Lets Look Like We Are Doing Something’.
And at every single meeting there should be an empty chair – always!
That chair needs to represent the single survivor who is relying on authenticity and congruent ethics from any such body/committee in a world that they perceive to be full of abusers, charlatans and manipulators. We know that the machinations of governments/financial organisations etc. are complicated and require delicacy and diplomacy. We understand all of this – but in the field of childhood abuse -THERE CAN BE NO ROOM FOR FURTHER OFFENSES.
